You know you’ve spent too much time on the computer when you spill milk and the first thing you think is, ‘edit, undo.’ — some wise guy.
Have you ever wished that a new life was one click of the button away?
No, don’t get me wrong. I’m not having any of my “please God let me die, reincarnate me as Brad Pitt” days. At least, not now.
I just think I’m getting too much of computer stuff into my system.
When you’re writing something in MS Word (or OpenOffice for ye anti-Microsoft pundits), it’s child’s play to ‘undo’ your mistakes. Press CTRL-Z, and voila! Your sin’s cleansed. It’s the same when I’m typing Java or LaTeX code in Crimson Editor; CTRL-Z is your ticket to a peaceful mind.
Arguably, the most wonderful example of all can be found in PC games. Your character just got split in two by that uber-powerful Celestial Sword of Ultimate Death brandished by the Evil Dark Lord of Slaughter? Don’t fret. Just press ‘Reload’, and live again. Your virtual Kobe Bryant scores 100 in a triple-overtime Game 7 for the NBA championship, and he just missed that easy, game-winning buzzer beater? Reload, and better make that shot next time.
It’s so damn easy, right? So easy, that I’m getting really used to it.
So, in real life, you’re all alone in a room with this bombshell, humping away to a steamy kingdom come, then notice a hidden camera blinking and grinning at you. What do you do? You and you’re buddies are having a wicked time backstabbing this certain professor, then you suddenly feel his eyes stabbing you from behind, and when you turn around — he’s there! What do you do?
Or maybe not.
This may sound unbelievable, but when I encounter scenes in life similar to those above*, my first reaction is to reach out and press some imaginary ‘Reload’ button in my mind. I know, it’s weird…even I am unnerved by my own response. It’s a surreal experience; so surreal, in fact, that if you were the one telling me you were having this similar oddity, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Maybe I should go out more often. You know, from time to time, get in touch with reality. So I don’t end up like this:
You know you’re obsessed with computer graphics when you’re outside and you look up at the trees and think, “Wow! That’s spectacular resolution!” — another wise guy.
*No, I regret to inform you that both scenarios were from someone else’s life, and not mine. Really, guys.